God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But, if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."
---Muhammad Ali

"We are driven to create at this deep wordless level of the soul because we are all fashioned in the image of a God who is an Artist." - Michael Card, Scribbling in the Sand.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Roller Coaster, that’s the best way I can describe my life right now. Wes was coming home but now he’s decided he’s not. He thinks he can make it on his own in an apartment working at Disney. He will be stuck in retail rest of his life.

He really has no idea about the real world I guess I’ve sheltered him to much. I am just heart sick about it. I hope he comes to his senses before he finds himself in debt and no way to get out of it.
The stress of this has me in a full blown flare there isn’t a joint or muscle in my body that’s not screaming bloody murder. I just want to curl up in a ball and scream and cry; but I know that won’t do one bit of good. I had my hopes up that he was coming home for fall qtr and would get back in the rhythm here at Ohio University. I can’t believe he is giving up a free education.

And I feel like I’ve wasted half of my life at OU making sure the kids could get an education and now I’m stuck here even if I don’t want to because I will never be able to find anything at my age and with the med problems I have.

I really hope the good lord can carry me for a little bit because I’m really depending on his strength right now because I have none of my own. All I want to do is sit and cry and I’ve had to get up several times today and head for the bathroom to keep from crying at work.


liway5 said...

Jane...you've got mail!!!

Loretta said...

Hang in there Jane! I was not easy to deal with at 18 & 19 either! We still think we know everything at that age kwim?