God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But, if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."
---Muhammad Ali

"We are driven to create at this deep wordless level of the soul because we are all fashioned in the image of a God who is an Artist." - Michael Card, Scribbling in the Sand.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

A friend sent this to me and it's so funny I just had to post it.

1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

2. Marriage changes passion.Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

3.I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

3. How come we choose from just two people to run forpresident and 50 for Miss America?

4. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but a true friend will besitting next to you saying, "Damn!...that was fun!"

5. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

6.When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping." Now I just "chunky dunk."

7. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be ableto tell the difference.

8.Wouldn't it be nice if, whenever we messed up our life we could simply press'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN!!

9. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

10.Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

11. Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?

12.Bumper sticker of the year:"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and,
since it's in English, thank a soldier !!"

13.I've learned... (I see 14) That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end,
the faster it goes.

14.Use things and love people, instead of using people and loving things


Michelle said...

Jane, I love this!!! It gave me my laugh for the day.

Hang in there sis. I know you aren't feeling well today but you got 3 great kids, a stable job and friends who adore you.

Jane said...

Thank you! I hoped that this would brighten a few peoples day.

I love you and your family I hope you know how much :)

Christie said...

I love this..i posted this too :)